You Should Learn When to Go. You Should Learn How to Say No!

While I was speaking with a friend on the phone yesterday evening about a subject that interests me greatly, I happened to notice that an uneasy terror had become quite palpable on his end of the line. Who knew that talking with great enthusiasm about Vladimir Demikhov’s work could make someone else so uncomfortable?

But really. That is of no import.

But I, being a most fabulously fashionable woman, attempted to change the subject in order to make the aforementioned conversation a little more comfortable. In order to do this, I grabbed a nearby book for inspiration. It was a self-help book. How pleased I was when I flipped right to a most fabulous mnemonic device! The first part of the mnemonic device, D-E-A-R M-A-N, lists factors involved in getting what you want.

And so.

See poem below.

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D-E-A-R M-A-N: A Self-Help Guide to Separation

1.

It will be windy there standing in
front of these bodies

(goodbye, rest-of-poem! farewell!)

Because the Possible Ought to Be Possible.

So it wasn’t actually a bar, it was a large room full of dancing hipsters. And there was a plaid shirt, and a shut mouth. That much, at least, is true. Perhaps I needed a guide.

A Self-Help Guide to Finding Yourself Nearly Thirty and Still Unable to Flirt with the Man in the Plaid Shirt at the End of the Bar

Remember honey

(I hope so, because this poem is gone!)

The Calm Before the Storm

Gird your loins, ladies.