Because Rue Really Is Indeed Something to Rue

For this poemlogue, I shall adopt Zelda’s third person narration, for there are really times when first person absolutely will not do. This is one of those times, for, you see, Vivienne is a woman of Odd Interests: collecting pennies she finds on her walks, hunting for Sears Merry Mushroom products on E-Bay and at thrift stores and in relatives’ closets of abandoned goods, learning about the digestive systems of pelicans, the lost art of macramé … And though Vivienne is not especially ashamed of her Odd Interests, they are nonetheless Odd Things for her to bring up. To whit: spurred by a children’s book on astronomy, a Young Vivienne developed an abnormal interest in red giant stars. One Christmas, after unwrapping a most fabulous and fashionable Rose Petal Place Roadster, Vivienne sat on the couch and proceeded to tell her cousins everything she knew about red giants, especially their propensity to explode. The cousins responded with wide-eyed looks of horror and shock (please note: the linked cartoon is what Google Image thinks I must be looking for when Googling the term “shock”), and Vivienne was scolded and told to better learn to gauge others’ interest in celestial explosions. Vivienne has since learned that there are a good many Odd Interests she should keep to herself, but can’t seem to follow this rule when it comes to herbal folklore, especially that used by so-called “witches” in the middle ages. How else would she know not to accept an offered cup of henbane tea? How else would she know to induce lust in others with lettuce? How else would she know that there is nothing better than rosemary to cure a weak memory, or aconite to draw the poison from the bites of venomous animals?

Herbal

Don’t eat the berries.