And the sun goes down. I walk into the waves.

My Dearest Reader: this introduction shall be woefully short, as I am away for the weekend and am using a different computer than usual. It is also a Macintosh, and I am accustomed to PCs. It’s odd trying to write on a Macintosh. Everyone says they are better, and I understand why, perhaps, but that does not make it any less odd trying to write on a Macintosh in the immediate present. I am not able to focus as I should.

So, my Dearest Reader, I shall leave you with a most fabulously fashionable video. Viv mentioned Pat Benetar in a recent posting of hers, so I shall include Pat Benetar here, and she shall be singing “Invincible,” the theme song for The Legend of Billie Jean, which, if you have not seen, you must, must see. Both Viv and I insist upon it.

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O the black ships! O the fierce ships!

O the beautiful, sharp bow’d steam-ships & sail-ships!

& on the sail-ship I stood
before the young man face

[rest-of-poem has been packed away in a steamer trunk! farewell!]

Because Your Mother Always Said You’d Be Struck By Lightning

I’m not quite sure how to set up this poem and still maintain anonymity. Therefore, I will tell you only that this follows the Prompt of Fashion given by the most fashionable Zelda. I will tell you that I am drinking a glass of red wine. I will tell you that it really does stain your lips like scabs. I will tell you that earlier today I purchased a Diet Chocolate Cherry Doctor Pepper, and I will tell you that it is delicious. I will tell you that, hours after drinking it, I realized that it had stained my teeth red. I will tell you that I halfway contemplated telling the gas station attendant I then saw that I was a vampire. I will tell you that it’s quite possible, based on Zelda’s latest Prompt of Fashion, that I will soon post a poem about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I will tell you that I had Such a Crush on Giles when I was in college. I will tell you that “had” is a lie. I will tell you that the below poem combines Malleus Maleficarum (prose text) and the Psalms (poem text). I will tell you that Anne Carson once wore an insouciant pony tail to a reading. I will tell you that yes, as a child, I had Paradise Estate for my My Little Ponies. It was the only Huge Toy I had. I will tell you that you should be jealous. I will tell you that it was every bit as awesome as I ever dreamed.

Carmina Maleficarum

It go bye-bye!

Fashion Poem Prompt / Poem Prompt of Fashion — Prompt Two

Dearest, Gentle Reader! The highly anticipated second ProRun-based prompt can be found below. But first! A brief introduction. . .

Don’t you just love it when special people guest star on your favorite shows? For me, it’s always an unexpected, yet pleasant, surprise — like getting an extra McNugget in your four piece on a really bad day. Remember when Barry White (RIP) appeared on Ally McBeal (thank heavens we got to hear him sing for once instead of that wretched Vonda Shepard — ugh, ugh, ugh)? That was like manna from heaven! And — what about the splendor that was Wayne Brady’s guest spot on Chappelle’s Show? O! I must sit down now while thinking about that! (It is posted below — not in its full version, but the only one I could find on YouTube):

And now. . . moving on to poetry and fashion! A drumroll please. . .

Prompt Two — “Autobiography of Fashion, with a Special Guest Appearance by an Academic and Creative Writing Icon,” based on Episode 402 of ProRun, in which the designers are completely surprised by a guest judge who also happens to be a fashion icon, and in which the designers are instructed to create a look based on this fashion icon’s clothing line

Since the guest judge on Episode 402 of Project Runway was Sarah Jessica Parker, I had to choose a HUGELY brilliant and fashionable poet for this prompt, so I chose — wait for it. wait for it! — Anne Carson! Really: who else could it have been?

Carson says in a Times Magazine article (“Things Fall Together” by Melanie Rehak, March 26, 2000): “I saw this movie, The Thieves, about [Catherine] Deneuve being a philosophy teacher in Paris. In it, she had a sweater just like one of mine. Afterward, I went home and began thinking about what it would be like to be Catherine.” This led to Carson’s prose poem entitled “Irony Is Not Enough: Essay on My Life as Catherine Deneuve.”

One should think back to a time when one noticed another person wearing an article of clothing that was also in one’s very own wardrobe. Then, one should think about what it would be like to be the other person who wore the article of clothing that was also in one’s very own wardrobe. For instance, I remember watching an episode of Blossom a long, long time ago, and I realized that Blossom was wearing an exceedingly stylish denim vest from The Limited that happened to be the very same exceedingly stylish denim vest from The Limited I had in my very own closet. So, for this prompt, I would imagine myself in a sitcom (while dressed very stylishly, of course). BTW: I also happen to own a coat — a very warm coat, a coat from the thrift store — that every third homeless woman one sees on Law and Order happens to be wearing. But writing about myself as homeless at this point in my life is just not good, not good at all. Very unfashionable. So the stylish Limited outfit it is for me! Hooray!