When I wake up in my make-up, it’s too early for that dress.

I shall begin with this, Dear Reader, which is basically the story of my life. This weekend, I was flipping through Moby Dick for poetic inspiration (a shout-out to Roy, for reminding me that Moby Dick is and always will be one of the Most Fabulous Books in the Entire Universe to me), for I firmly believe that if one cannot find inspiration (or desperation, ha ha) in Moby Dick, one will never find inspiration anywhere for the entirety of one’s life, and if one cannot find inspiration in Moby Dick, one may as well just crawl under a rock and sleep for the next hundred decades.

So I was flipping through Moby Dick, and I come to a passage that I’d underlined the last time I’d read Moby Dick. The passage is as follows: All men live enveloped in whale-lines. All are born with halters round their necks; but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life. I got so excited when I read this passage. I read it again. And again. Then I read it aloud to the friend who was with me. I read it aloud, and then I exclaim, “Oh my [expletive!] god! Can you [expletive!] believe this?! Holy [expletive!] [expletive!]! This is, like, the truest [expletive!] statement I have ever [expletive!] read. Holy [expletive!] [expletive!].” My friend, awesome though he may be, gives me a blank stare. I continue to try: “Is that not the best [expletive!] thing you’ve ever [expletive!] heard?!” Still: the blank stare.

Ah, Dear Reader. The story of my life. But what else can be expected, really? For I, like my dearest, most wondrous Vivienne, got answers to most of life’s questions from Judy Blume — but my book of reference was Just As Long As We’re Together (for which I — and I cannot believe I am admitting this — wrote a song about, and the song can be sung to the tune of Bon Jovi’s “I’ll Be There for You”). And the answers I could not get from reading Judy Blume were gotten from watching Madonna’s “Express Yourself” video. (Question to Viv: Should we nominate Judy Blume and Madonna for the Most Ultimate Diamond Heart Necklace Award?)

Consider the Subtleness of the Sea

Consider the subtleness of the sea [betches, b/c rest-of-poem is gone!]

5 Responses to “When I wake up in my make-up, it’s too early for that dress.”

  1. K. Says:

    Fucking Fabulous!

    This made my morning.

  2. K. Says:

    OH, and that title is my favorite yet… I would steal it for my MySpace headline, but I don’t often wake up in dresses (or wear them for that matter!)

  3. Anonymous Says:

    http://books.guardian.co.uk/news/articles/0,,2273299,00.html

    Poetry guardians reject modern verse

    The Queen’s English Society demands rhyme and metre in poems. But the group’s targets, including the Laureate, have hit back

    Anushka Asthana
    Sunday April 13, 2008
    The Observer

    When Oscar Wilde argued that a ‘poet can survive everything but a misprint’ he had not foreseen the formation of the Queen’s English Society.
    Members of the group, set up to defend the ‘beauty and precision’ of the English language, have turned their attention to contemporary poetry and poets, arguing that too often strings of words are being labelled as poems despite the fact they have no rhyme or metre.

    The campaigners say that there should be a new definition of poetry, outlining the characteristics needed before a piece of work can be called a poem.

  4. zeldafitzgerald Says:

    K.: Why thank you! Thanks so much!

    M. Anonymous: Oh, pish posh! ‘Tis but a ruse to bring attention to National Poetry Month. But you know I’m always up for a Walk-Off if you’d like to take it outside.

  5. zeldafitzgerald Says:

    Oh, K.: All of my blog titles are snippets of Hole or Courtney Love songs. Fabulous, no?

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