He hit so hard I saw stars.

***Disclaimer Alert! Zelda wrote the following poemlogue very late at night.***

I must admit that I read Viv’s most recent poem (Welcome back, Viv! O, we have missed you so!) before her poemlogue, and my mind immediately zoomed into the following words: “See Ruby / fall.” And I immediately thought of Kenny Rogers singing “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town.” And I wondered what would have happened in that song had he actually been able to move and get his gun and put Ruby in the ground. Well, I guess Ruby would have fallen.

And then I found the following video of Kenny Rogers singing “Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town” in 1972. It is most fabulous! Not only does Kenny Rogers look just like the next door neighbor I had during my childhood (who was a trucker. a trucker! awesome!), but he also looks EXACTLY like Kurt Russell did in Overboard – a most fashionable movie (movie of fashion). I will not reveal to you, Dear Reader, how many times I have seen Overboard, for this poemlogue is not one in which I reveal secrets.

And, as a shoutout to Earth Day, I give you the following quote from an interview with the Most Fashionable Guitarist Ever, Slash:

“People need to think more about the loss of energy and actually do something about it. For me, I try to turn off the faucet when I am brushing my teeth and I try and remember to close the refrigerator door.”

Well said, Slash. Well. Said.

My redefining

[began with a very fashionable diamond heart necklace.]

Because a City of Rock is Really a Fashionable Thing to See

Rock City, Ruby Falls, the Lost Sea — can a road trip really get any better than that? No, I say, unless, unless, UNLESS it also involves a gas station/truck stop/smoking-encouraged Wendy’s which offers, for sale, coffee cups which are emblazoned with the saying “you said you wanted half a cup of coffee” and are — I am not kidding — actually cut in half. No, really! Really! FASHION! FASHION! Brenda Dickson’s cabinets are stocked with these, I tell you, stocked. Only she fills four of them with a smoothie of her own concoction, tops it with sprouts, and then goes off to run a marathon. Now that, my friends, is fashion.

I now make four shameful admissions: I did not actually see Rock City, Ruby Falls, or the Lost Sea, and though I stood in front of them and contemplated their fashion for quite some time, I did not purchase the above-mentioned mugs. I, obviously, fail at fashion.

And so, in an attempt to redeem myself and once again gain some sense of fashion/fashion of sense, I post the following photograph for you to contemplate, which, dear readers, is only one in a series of Slash photographs which will be posted, daily, until you admit to yourselves and to the Hyacinth Girls that “November Rain” is not ONLY a song of fashion/a fashionable song, it is The Ultimate Video of Fashion/Fashionable Video:

Well hello! Welcome to the jungle. Here, we will talk about fashion until we bring you to your nanananananakneeskneeskness.

75

Is a long drive.