Go for credit in the real world. Won’t you try?

Ah, Dearest, Most Fashionable Readers! Upon researching Dearest, Most Fashionable Slash on the internets today, I have learned quite a lot about him. For instance, Slash has a fear of leaving his arm hanging out of the passenger-side windows of cars. Slash also looks at everything from a “very realistic day-to-day, moment-to-moment point of view.” And — and I really think this is absolutely beautiful — his earliest memory: “My grandmother in England dragging me to church on Sunday mornings in the fall and shuffling through the leaves, knowing I had no choice.” Wow! I really, really love that. It’s an incredibly tender, yet realistic, moment.

And that is all for tonight. Except for the poem, yeah. Inspired by none other than John D. Rockefeller. Holla!

The Streets Stained with Crimson

[crimson being a most fashionable color this time of year]

Because Vivienne Can Be a Very Bad Girl

Say you’ve been struggling to publish a book. As in, struggling. As in, STRUH-GUL-LING. As in, for years now. For years. So many years that you’ve actually finished ANOTHER book in the mean time, which you are also, now struh-gul-ling to publish. Then, say you see this dog one day. And say you admire said dog. His plush coat! His strong teeth! His ability to fetch and O! Bring back the stick! But his ability to … write? And … publish? What? What? Say it ain’t so.

But it is. It is so. A dog has published a book, entitled Pet Me Safely. Yes, published a book. And been photographed in fabulous and fashionable places, far more fabulous and fashionable than the places you’ve been photographed — in a cockpit, on a surfboard, for all you know, in front of the Taj Mahal. You would feel jealousy. You would feel woe. You would feel the inexplicably bizarre nature of your industry threaten to pull you down into an abyss like so much quicksand.

But then the dog would lick your hand, or wag its tail, and you could not longer feel anger. You would scratch his ears and say, good boy. Good boy. And the dog would wag his tail again, and go home to write his new tome: A Dog’s Guide to Guns N Roses and How Awesome They Are.

P.S.: the dedication is the same as the dedication from Cate Marvin’s new book, because, well, AWESOME.

Pet Me Safely

for boys and their mothers

Remember, kids, no petting is safe petting.