Because There Are Hard Facts You Need to Learn

And I am the one who will school you in them. To wit: dear readers, I am about to rock your world. I am about to rock it so it will never be able to be stable again. I am about to share with you, dear readers, the most disturbing fact I have learned in a very long time. To wit:

Whilst looking for the perfect photograph of Brett Michaels in a feathered jacket last night, I stumbled across this article, which reveals that a fashionably feather-clad Michaels suffers from Type I diabetes, and was, in fact, diagnosed with this disease at the tender age of six (much like Stacy, the fair and sassy New York heroine of The Baby Sitters’ Club, who I worshipped as an adolescent, as I was much more of a shy and retiring Mary Ann, though without Logan, the super-hawt boyfriend with the sweet Southern accent, and with a smelly cat who tended to treat my arm as a scratching post instead, though we need not go into that now). Why, friends, is this so disturbing? Because this means that Brett Michaels cannot drink. Or, that is Brett Michaels is drinking, he has to constantly monitor his glucose levels so as to not fall into a diabetic coma. And because this means that, through Rock of Love, Brett Michaels must be … sober. Stone. Cold. SOBER. He decided to wear those bandannas … SOBER. He thought that white feathered jacket was, in fact, awesome … SOBER. He has dealt with two seasons of hysterical strippers whose mammas did not teach them how to sit like ladies … SOBER.

Think about it. Think deep and hard about what that means.

And now, an illness poem. O, the shame.

Friday A Bed

Can be a nice change.

Prompt of Fashion/Fashion Prompt

This prompt is very late.  Fashionably late, to be exact.  This prompt was supposed to be completed and posted days ago.  Nay, weeks ago.  But fashion takes time, people, and so I have taken my time with this.

Prompt of Fashion/Fashion Prompt Four

(With thanks to the fantastically fashionable Zelda for the fashionable graphic/graphic of fashion.)

This prompt comes from Project Runway Season Four, Episode Four: Trendsetter.  In this episode, the fabulous and fashionable designers must work in teams to update and incorporate three outdated trends in their designs.  Recall that this is the episode in which Fabulous Chris was first eliminated, due to his tranny mess trainwreck of an unfashionable jacket.  Recall also that this is the episode where Christian’s fierce fabulousness became even more obvious, due to his ability to make fringe and pleather fashionable, which I have been attempting on a daily basis for years now.

Your poem prompt, poets of fashion, is to write a poem which incorporates at least one of the outdated fashion trends mentioned in the show (which are as follows: overalls, 70’s flare, poodle skirt, fringe, pleather, zoot suit, shoulder pads, baggy sweaters, dance wear, neon, cutouts, underwear as outerwear).  However, not ONLY must you incorporate one of the outdated fashion trends listed above, you must also incorporate an outdated poetry trend.  These trends would include, but are not limited to, Neo-Narrativism, New Formalism, Confessionalism (though a quick glance at the blog will show you that I certainly do not consider this an outdated trend), Uber-Manly Man Poet Voice, Deep Image, and Word Salad.

If you wear a diamond heart necklace whilst composing said poem, you receive four gold star-shaped cornflakes from Haryette Mullen, automatically.