Most Fashionable Reader! Since Zelda shamefully admitted to being Shamefully and Highly Unfashionable as of late, Zelda has discovered that it is quite therapeutic to reveal secrets of shame and great sorrow. So. Today, Most Fashionable Reader / Reader of Fashion, Zelda will reveal, for the first time publicly, one of her secrets that she deems Incredibly Shameful.
But first! A preface to the Secret of Shame! Let Zelda tell you, Most Fashionable Reader, that she has no problems talking about most anything that has to deal with her personal issues. Now, don’t get Zel wrong — she is NOT the type of
person who goes up to strangers and says, “Well hello! My name is Zelda, and I am a sober alcoholic who has battled depression and anxiety all of her life! How are you doing this most fashionable evening?” Zelda does, however, have no qualms with discussing her issues when she deems such a discussion necessary.
But! There is one thing that Our Dearest, Most Fashionable Zelda has revealed to less than a handful of people. Here goes, Dear Reader. Are you ready? Zelda cannot believe she is actually writing this down, but oh well: Zelda has Attention Deficit Disorder. That’s right. Zelda has ADD. Now Zelda knows, Zelda knows: it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Why? Well, because, as every book on Attention Deficit Disorder tells you, most people with ADD are incredibly creative! Hooray! Wow! Awesome!!!
But here’s the thing, Dearest Reader: Zelda doesn’t want to be known as a creative woman. When Zelda thinks of creativity, she thinks of windchimes made from thriftstore silverware, potholders made from bottlecaps, wreaths made from dried apple cores, etc., etc. Zelda doesn’t want to be a creative person who happens to have ADD. She wants to be a successful person who happens to have ADD. She wants a baker’s dozen of personal assistants, she wants to dictate confidential memos to her secretary, she wants a Range Rover the color of gunmetal, she wants an executive chair covered with Italian leather at the head of a boardroom table, etc., etc. This is why she found Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder so fabulous — because it gives profiles of highly successful businesspeople that include how ADD has helped their careers as well as the pitfalls of ADD.
Oh yeah! The FaOuLiPoWriMoFa [Fashionable OuLiPo Writing Month of Fashion] poem! Zelda has used a section of Judith Greenbaum and Geraldine Markel‘s Finding Your Focus: Practical Strategies for the Everyday Challenges Facing Adults with ADD entitled “How to Use Self-Talk as a Memory Aid” as her source text, and she curtailed each line.
Stop! Am I —
A quieter place. Too noisy in here.
Did I hear this time? Am I too
tired? Think. Before saying anything,get angry, tense. What
is here? This.Stop.
Stop!
Down the choices slowly and carefully.
I feel. I think.
Only concentrate. I’m finished.
We can go. I can —Failing doesn’t mean. What
can I try again? Give up to keep trying.Maybe I need this. Should I go?
The problem: the things
I need. If I go
slowly, solutions happen. Strategyis getting in the way.
Posted by zeldafitzgerald 
I must admit that I read Viv’s most recent poem (Welcome back, Viv! O, we have missed you so!) before her poemlogue, and my mind immediately zoomed into the following words: “See Ruby / fall.” And I immediately thought of Kenny Rogers singing “
Rock City, Ruby Falls, the Lost Sea — can a road trip really get any better than that? No, I say, unless, unless, UNLESS it also involves a gas station/truck stop/smoking-encouraged Wendy’s which offers, for sale, coffee cups which are emblazoned with the saying “you said you wanted half a cup of coffee” and are — I am not kidding — actually cut in half. No, really! Really! FASHION! FASHION! Brenda Dickson’s cabinets are stocked with these, I tell you, stocked. Only she fills four of them with a smoothie of her own concoction, tops it with sprouts, and then goes off to run a marathon. Now that, my friends, is fashion.
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