Visual images that are superficially attractive but intellectually undemanding.

Zelda dreamt of Axl Rose this weekend. And the setting of this dream, Dearest Reader, was the church from the Most Fashionable Music Video of All Time, “November Rain.” This, Most Fashionable Reader, was most certainly a sign. It was a sign that Zelda should post Part the First of an epic N+7 + Other Edits Zelda Feels Are Appropriate at the Time she has been working on since the beginning of FaOuLiPoWriMoFa (Fashionable Oulipo Writing Month of Fashion).

This epic poem is not completed, and Zelda hopes with all hope that it will not go the way of the Guns ‘N Roses album Chinese Democracy, which has been in the works for around 14 years now. But Zelda is posting Part the First, for she is loving the fact that there is a slender-bodied dragonfly in it.

November Raincoat

When I look into visual images that are

superficially attractive and entertaining

but intellectually undemanding, I can see

a love child restrained. But when I hold

the long, slender-bodied dragonfly —

don’t you know I feel?

Because notion lasts forever, and we both

know broken hearts can change, and it’s hard

to hold an evergreen tree while you’re in a cold

November raincoat. We’ve been through this —

that long, long timothy grass, that grass

widely grown for grazing and hay — just trying

to kill the painted bunting, but low-borns

always come, and low-borns always go,

and no one’s really sure who’s letting go

today, walking away. If we could take

the timothy grass and lay it

on the lingerer, I could rest my health

just knowing that you were mine. So if you want

to love me, then don’t refrain from that long,

slender-bodied dragonfly — or I’ll just end

up walking in a cold November raincoat.

Do you need do you

need everybody

needs don’t you know

you need

I know it’s hard to keep an open heart

broken when even frigates seem out

to harm you, but if you could heal

a broken, a heartbroken — sometimes

I need sometimes

I need everybody needs

don’t you know you

need

And when your feats subside and the shag

carpets still remain, I know that you can

love me when there’s no one left

to blame. So never mind the ryegrass,

we still can find a we. But nothing lasts —

Non-Poem P.S. / Nearly Ten Minutes of Celebrity Angst!

In honor of Our Dearest Vivienne Haighwood, I shall post this Celebrity Angst video.

Vivienne shall return to her Postings of Fashion as soon as fashionably possible.

I’m killing two most fashionable birds with one stone here, for not only does the Featured Celebrity of Fashionable Angst have angst himself, but the Featured Celebrity of Fashionable Angst has caused Yours Truly angst as well. Remember the Tommy Hilfiger Incident a couple of years ago?

Oh, Axl.

Oh Axl, Axl, Axl.

So here I offer you, Dearest Readers, nearly ten minutes of Celebrity Angst. I guarantee that it will be the best (and most angst-ridden) nine minutes and twelve seconds that you will spend today. It is a Video of Fashion — one of the most fashionable videos ever.

I present to you, Dearest Readers, the Angst-Ridden Video of Fashion / Fashionable Video that accompanies the epically angst-filled song that is “November Rain.”

Enjoy, Dear Readers.

And while you are enjoying “November Rain, ” remember the glory days of Our Dearest Axl, the glory days which included Texas-teased hair, tight leather pants, tight pants of virtually any fabric paired with huge belt buckles, white jean jackets paired with tight white jeans (which Axl managed to pull off, and I still am not sure how), crosses, bracelets, a plethora of fabulously fashionable bandannas, and sweat. Lots and lots of sweat.

Yum.

Do not forget.

Oh, we mustn’t ever, ever forget.